Late Night Blogging

Ok so it was longer than a few days after my last post but this past weekend was crazy so i needed a few days to recuporate! haha I spent this weekend in the beautiful San Francisco with my friends, Michael and Taryn for the annual Lovefest celebration. Let me tell you I saw a lot of crazy outfits that could only be seen in SF and a whole lot of nakedness that was definetly not pretty :P But it was well worth it. The parade was one big party filled with DJ's on each float, tons of people on each one and dancing in the streets like you wouldn't believe. But my words don't do the day justice, see for yourself...
*not my friends by the way

...and that's just a glimpse. Next year you gotta make it there no matter where you're coming from; trust me its worth it.

So until the next time, much love!

Long time no blog!

Hey guys! Ok so I know that I havent been writing on here for quite some time but I have made a promise to myself to try and keep up with it at least every other day. Its a good place to just let myself be myself with no judgments.
So since the last you heard from me I have made the move to Marina, CA and am attending CSU Monterey Bay. And despite a little bit of depression my first week here, I love it and it was well worth all my hard work to end up here. I have met a couple of really cool people and started my new job at the restaurant on campus and its great. Ive really found out a lot about myself while being down here. I am strong enough to take on anything. I wasnt so sure that first week but after seeing how far I have come since then I know that I will end up seeing this place as my second home with no problem. My friends and m family have really helped in understanding that it took me a little bit longer than others to get used to being away from them but I know they are all proud of who I am and how far I have brought myself.
So new things going on. Well like I said I started my new job at the campus restaurant as a server. It works great with my schedule and the best part is that when I am out of school, on breaks and vacation, the restaurant is closed so I never have to worry about asking for time off during the holidays, spring/ summer break. I not only serve at the restaurant but I also do some catering events too. Its a lot of fun being able to dress all professional and meet a ton of new people but I think I like the serving in the restaurant a little bit more. My co workers are a lot of fun too. There's Daniella, a server, who is spunky and super easy to talk to, her boyfriend JD, a bartender, who is oober cool and totally knows it but in a good way haha. There's Sarah, another server, who is a total badass in her own way and so much fun to work with, Trevin, a busser, who started out on my bad side but has worked his way up to being a pretty cool guy lol. There's Casey, a server, who is the most typical Califonia guy you will ever meet but is a sweetie, and Marina and Evelyn, both caterers, who are a bit on the quite side but once you get through their exterior, they are way cool. Then there's the whole cooking staff, Sam, Bruce, Peter, Chris and all the rest are so much fun and super nice all the time and the managers, Michelle and Martin, who couldn't be mean if they tried; ok maybe if they tried. And not only have I met a few cool co workers but Ive also met this really great guy too. I know its not the most professional thing to get into a relationship with one of your co workers but I couldnt help myself. His name is Michael and he is amazing, both as a server and a guy. He is hilarious and does pretty much every impression that you could think of, and well too. But the weird thing with him is that from the second I met him, when all we did was laugh and joke around, I felt as though I had known him all my life, as though he was one of my best friends. I have never felt like that before with someone, at least not right off the bat. That's how I know that this is different, that's he's special. Nothing serious yet, just kind of dating and having fun together but as soon as it happens I'll let you know!
I've met a few other people outside of work that seem like really good friends. A guy named Jake who works at Peets coffee in the library, and Shelli who is my partner in my micro economics class. Jake is from Covina, CA down in southern cal and is pledging a fraternity at CSUMB. He's a lot of fun anf I was actually kind of nervous to talk to him at first because I thought he was cute but he ended up being a really nice guy and is totally my party hook up from here on out cuz you know how frat boys are lol. Shelli is from Sac and is a really sweet girl. She's pretty funny and is pretty much the only way I stay awake in that class haha.
Other than that life's been good. I'm getting along great nowadays and just trying to get used to this cold weather at the end of summer, Im telling you it's just not normal. Im sure my future is going to be bright and my present is getting better and better everyday ;)

So until tomorrow, or the next day, have fun, love life, and enjoy this present day.

Go Otters!!!

So today I found out that I have been accepted to California State University @ Monterey Bay!! And I have to tell you that it was the most scary, overwhelming, exciting feeling that I have ever had in my life. In just a few seconds my life went into fast forward and all I could think about was how before the concept of attending a university was just a thought in my mind and it all of a sudden had become a reality. I just thought oh my God, I am actually now going to be out of the house and out of my hometown in less than 8 months. That's crazy! So now I have a little bit of weight lifted off my shoulders, having some definite place to go, so I just have to find a way to pay for it all. And that's a whole other stress ball in itself but for now I am just basking in my excitement and accomplishment that I am going to be the first person in my family to go to a university, get a degree and prove to myself that I can make something out of my life. I want to show my little brother that when he wants to go to college he can go wherever he wants and be whoever he wants and I want to show my 2 younger cousins that they don't have to be scared to be on their own and be successful just because they are women. I want to set an example to the three of them and make my parents and my grandparents and the rest of my family proud of what I will become.
Next fall will start a whole new chapter in my life and although I am scared out of my mind and extremely nervous I know that the scariest situations are usually the one that have the greatest impact on your life.
So for now I am going to concentrate on finishing up my AA degree and spending as much time with the ones that I love most before I leave- to grow up. Yes I won't be too far from home and yes I will be home quite often but it won't be the same. I want to make sure that when I do leave that everyone back here at home and other places know that no matter what Lodi will always be my home town and I will never for a moment forget where I came from or who got me to where I am.
WISH ME LUCK!!!

The symbol of an open heart

This symbol has been everywhere for a while now and I have just fallen in love with it.The meaning of this symbol is that if a person's heart is open, love will always find a way in. But sometimes it's a little hard to do that; keep one's heart open I mean.
I think it's hard for some people to keep their hearts open after they've been hurt time and time again. I mean it's like when you're little and your doing things that you're not supposed to and to get you to learn someone adds a punishment to give you in hopes that you come to understand that what you were doing before was wrong & finally get you to stop. Well if someone's heart is always open but love never finds a way in, then they are going to learn that what they are doing is wrong; that an open heart is bad & a broken heart is punishment. And then people just end up closing off their hearts to the world and never letting themselves let anyone in because it hurts too much.
So how does someone keep their heart from closing off love?
Well I know that as a kid, if you're doing something that you really want to do & parents or anyone else tried to stop you, that just made you want to do it even more. The risk you had to take was worth being able to do something that you loved & that in the end would out weigh any punishment that anyone could ever dish out. So even though people may want to close off their hearts & shut out love, they shouldn't. Because the risk that it takes to fall into true meaningful love is worth any amount of tears, heartbreak, or pain that may have come before that moment when you realize that you can't live without that someone standing next to you for the rest of your life.
I know that it's hard to keep going after you've had your heart torn to pieces & I know that there are a lot of times when you just want to give up on love all together, but you can't. Because if you do you will miss out on so many great memories you can share with someone & so many new people you will meet on your way to finding that special one. Because if you do you'll never be able to tell what being in like feels like compared to being in love like you someday will be. And because somewhere out there, in this great big world, there is that one person that God meant for you to be with. They are out there waiting for you to find them & if you close your heart, you're not only taking love out of your own life you but you're taking away the love from the life of someone else. I believe that we are each meant to find someone someday & that can only happen if everyone keeps their hearts open all the time.
This symbol means a lot to me because there have been multiple times in just my short life that I have wanted to give up on love. It just never seemed to turn out right. I wanted to write about this symbol because the concept inspired me and I thought I could maybe give somebody some hope. I want it to always be a reminder for someone that even if they've been rejected, even if they've been let down, after the tears, after the pain & after a broken heart, there is someone better out there waiting for you to find them who will show me what true love really is. And also to remember that keeping their hearts open, even when they might not want to & having the relationships that they did, They'll end up with many great memories, & many great friends.
So until the next day dawns, live your life & love all the way through.

A New Beginning

So this is my blog. Nothing fancy, nothing special, just a place to call my own. A place where I can write what I feel, write what I want and not be afraid of any judgments. A place that lets me escape from reality and get away from it all for a moment in time. It's a blog just for me, to write my thoughts, my dreams, and my everyday tidbits that keep things interesting. I can't promise that something new will be here everyday or even that it will interest anyone, but if there is anyone out there who wants to get away from it all, for whatever reason, for just a little while, I welcome you to read into my own little getaway.