My Bucket List

I started this list when I was a sophomore at my community college and this is what I've come up with thus far...

1. Get into a University ✓
   

2. Get a Tattoo ✓
   

3. Be the First in my family to Graduate College

4. Travel Route 66 & 17 Mile Drive

5. Go Scuba Diving

6. Go Parasailing

7. Move out on my Own ✓
   

8. Swim w/ Dolphins

9. Be @ Time Square for New Years

10. Go to the Junior Olympics ✓

11. Attend the Olympic games
    

12. Stay up all night to watch the sunrise

13. Witness a Miracle

14. Change Someone's Life

15. See the White House, Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial ✓
    

16. Go Indoor Skydiving

17. Ride a Zip Line in the Jungle

18. Go to Disneyland & Disney World ✓
    

19. Learn to Hula in Hawaii

20. Visit Europe & Australia

21. Go White Water Rafting

22. Attend the Superbowl & the NFL Pro Bowl

23. See the Aurora Borealis

24. Learn to Play Guitar

25. Go to Mardi Gras

26. Play Volleyball in College ✓
    

27. Visit the NFL, NBA & MLB Hall of Fame

28. Go on a "Frostie Roadtrip" w/ Hailey

29. See the Christmas Day Parade in NYC

30. go horseback riding on the beach

31. Go whale watching ✓

32. Be a Contributor to the Make-A-Wish Foundation

33. Own My Own Business

34. Vacation on Martha's Vineyard

35. Work for ESPN
    

36. Marry my Prince Charming

37. Payback My Parents (for everything)

38. Be a Mom

So, what do you want to do?

Time flying by

This last Thursday my baby cousin, Sydney Paige, graduated from 8th grade. So I guess that means she's not much of a baby anymore, more like a young woman. It's just weird to think about that seven years ago I was just graduating from 8th grade and she was only seven. It makes me feel old and like time is going by faster than ever.
First I was the only child in the whole family, and then Sydney's older sister, Shelby, came into the world five years later and I finally got have someone in the family look up to me. Then two years later, Sydney came along, adding just a bit more love and craziness to the picture. Finally two years after that my younger brother Zach closed out the final four. Ever since the four of us have been pretty inseparable, more like brother and sisters than cousins, and time and life has seemed to be moving in fast forward.
Milestone after milestone I felt so amazed at how much each of them and myself were growing up right before my eyes. And all I keep thinking is how much more growing up we all have to do and it both excites me and scares me. Just in the next five years Shelby and Sydney will have graduated high school and entering college, Zach will almost be out of high school, and I will have graduated university. And with those milestones in just the short amount of time comes twenty birthdays, including two sweet sixteen's, three first cars, three first jobs, one first girlfriend, one first dance, three first dates, four graduation parties, three first jobs and countless numbers of sporting events, etc.
So since time can still not be stopped all I can do is take it all in stride and not take one moment for granted. Because, through thick and thin, and milestone after milestone, the four of us will still remain the four closest cousins anyone will ever meet; always there for each other. No matter what.

Happy Memorial Day!

This weekend was Memorial Day weekend; a weekend to remember those fallen soldiers who gave their lives for our freedom and to recognize those soldiers currently fighting for our country. But with the day of admiration for the armed services also comes a three day weekend!, which of course calls for an extra serving of fun. So the weekend started out with my little brother's baseball game on Friday night. They played the Indians and beat them 3-2; their first win in a few weeks. That started the weekend off on a high note. Then on Saturday my dad bbq'd chicken and bratwurst and cooked corn and bought fruit salad for him, me and my brother. It was great to have my dad's cooking that I hadn't had in so long. And of course it was delicious. After dinner I got ready to go out with my friends to another friends house for a kegger and just a good time with the whole gang. We hung out, played some beer pong, took some pictures and of course had great laughs. Not much is needed to keep our spirits up. On Sunday, my dad, brother and I hopped in my dad's Jeep and hit the road up north to the Mokelumne River and New Hogan Lake. Of course the water was still a bit too cold but just being there brought back so many old memories and made me want to jump in and call up my friends for some floating and bbqing. On our way home we stopped at this place that my mom and dad used to go to when they were on their way home from boating or camping at the lake called Hawg's Dawgs. It was this local restaurant that served hot dogs, burgers, chicken and its specialty homemade potato chips with all different seasonings. All I have to say is that they were amazing and definitely a home town treasure. Lastly on Sunday I went over to my friend/roommate Joey's parents house for a bbq with his family and our friends. Tri tip, corn, salad and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Yummy in my tummy. After dinner we went to the park and played some Frisbee which both the boys were really bad at. I mean the wind didn't help the cause but it was a bit ridiculous. After that we went back to Joey's car and grabbed his wiffle ball bat but instead of playing with a wiffle ball we played with a toy mini football that was in his trunk. It was interesting to say the least but I was the only one of all of us to hit a home run, which I am very proud of.

So all in all I'd say that this Memorial Day was a success.

And to all of our soldiers, past, present and future, I thank you for all you do and sacrifice for this country's freedom. Thank you!

Superman vs. Kryptonite

Have you ever had a person in your life who seemed to have a power over you that you couldn't explain? Like they had some sort of way of always getting what they want from you and always grabbing your attention no matter what may be preoccupying you at the moment.

If not, consider yourself somewhat lucky. If so, then you understand exactly what I mean.

His name I won't say, but he's got a power over me that seems to be my own form of kryptonite.

He and I met January of this year during my second semester at university. We met at the local dance club and he "swept me off my feet." He was a great dancer, a smooth talker and my friends thought he was good looking. He invited me and my friend back to his apartment and never tried anything shady; all we did was talk and learn about each other. We hung out again the next night at his apartment again and we hung out with his friends and played video games and just had simple fun. Things seemed to be going just like my very own fairytale. He would compliment me. He wanted to get to know me. He let me get to know him. He would always text me back, no matter what. He would even text me first sometimes. He wanted me to meet his friends. He cared about how I felt. He wanted to spend time with me. He wanted to talk to me. That lasted for a few weeks.

Since then its been as rocky as the Rocky Mountains. He likes me then he doesn't. He wants to see me, then he doesn't. He talks to me then he doesn't. I'd try to stay strong each time another "doesn't" rolled around. I'd ignore his messages. I'd date other guys. But nothing ever lasted. After a few days of ignoring him, the "kryptonite" would begin to get to me, I'd fold and then go right back to where we started.

Frankly I'm sick of it. Every time I seem to finally get him out of my mind and get on with my life is when he decides that he wants to pop back into it. The power that he possesses over me causes me to break things off with guys I may be dating, causes me to feel a longing inside that he chooses to only fill for so long. I'm sick of blowing off other nice guys because he wants to see me. I'm sick of wanting to be with him even when we are separated by miles and miles. I'm sick of having to miss him. I'm sick of having to get him out of my mind all over again. I'm sick of constantly being let down. I just wish I knew how to overcome this power he has over my heart, because my mind just doesn't understand why he does it and why it can't stop it. And I don't know if it ever will.

I just hope I can be as strong as Superman.

Go Giants!

Told you I'd be back!

So last week, before I left Monterey for home, me and my friend Patrick went to the Bay Bridge series (Oakland A's vs. SF Giants) game 1 in Oakland. We got the cheapest tickets that were offered and sat in the outfield bleachers which turned out to be the most fun place to sit. It was my first pro baseball game since I was like 8 and my first one at the Oakland Colesium. Of course I was in my orange cheering on my Giants but Patrick was not only a trader but an imposter too lol. See he was born and raised in San Diego but goes to school at CSUMB with me. So naturally his team is the San Diego Padres. So since the Padres and the Giants are in the same division he decided that he would root for the A's. So to the game he wore his green San Diego Padres hat so that he could both cheer on the A's and still show his true love for the Padres. *Southern CA people are weird I know lol jk* Anyways, the Giants did end up losing but the craziness that went on during the game and the experiences that were made were what made it so much fun.
We had the best bbq for dinner at the ballpark,
We sat by some dancing A's fans and the one San Diego Chargers fan that Patrick quickly made sure to make friends with,
We saw an elephant AND a wolf,
We watched the kid in front of us get a ball from a player,
We saw tons of panda hats,
We got awed by onlookers when we took a picture,
We ate the most delicous and epic peace of cheesecake,
We wished we had Verizon for a moment,
We met the flag men who have gone to every A's game for the past 15 years,
We sang take me out to the ball game,
We went on a late night adventure in the parking lot to find our car, and
We watched a dance off that turned into a PG rated strip tease.
All and all it made for an amazing night. I got to go to a pro baseball game with a really great guy, and make memories that will last a lifetime.

What more could a girl, or anyone for that matter, ask for?









So until we meet again, GO GIANTS!

Let Life Begin

So I am officially the worst blogger in the history of blogging! Seriously. I think it's because I have so much stuff occupying me like all the time and I can barely take a break to breathe let alone blog. But this summer its going to be different. This summer I'm going to make sure to find time. My goal this summer is to do new things, say yes to new experiences and make my life more interesting. And not just for summer long, this goal is forever. So one thing on my checklist is to keep up with my blog so I can have something "hardcopy" to look back on in years to come. Something that will allow me to remember my life experiences, during summer and after, from here on out, whether they be exciting and life-changing or just ordinary and fun. Either way, I plan on this summer being one for the record books and on the rest of my life being one for the ages.

So let the games begin. I'm coming out, guns a blazin'.

Late Night Blogging

Ok so it was longer than a few days after my last post but this past weekend was crazy so i needed a few days to recuporate! haha I spent this weekend in the beautiful San Francisco with my friends, Michael and Taryn for the annual Lovefest celebration. Let me tell you I saw a lot of crazy outfits that could only be seen in SF and a whole lot of nakedness that was definetly not pretty :P But it was well worth it. The parade was one big party filled with DJ's on each float, tons of people on each one and dancing in the streets like you wouldn't believe. But my words don't do the day justice, see for yourself...
*not my friends by the way

...and that's just a glimpse. Next year you gotta make it there no matter where you're coming from; trust me its worth it.

So until the next time, much love!

Long time no blog!

Hey guys! Ok so I know that I havent been writing on here for quite some time but I have made a promise to myself to try and keep up with it at least every other day. Its a good place to just let myself be myself with no judgments.
So since the last you heard from me I have made the move to Marina, CA and am attending CSU Monterey Bay. And despite a little bit of depression my first week here, I love it and it was well worth all my hard work to end up here. I have met a couple of really cool people and started my new job at the restaurant on campus and its great. Ive really found out a lot about myself while being down here. I am strong enough to take on anything. I wasnt so sure that first week but after seeing how far I have come since then I know that I will end up seeing this place as my second home with no problem. My friends and m family have really helped in understanding that it took me a little bit longer than others to get used to being away from them but I know they are all proud of who I am and how far I have brought myself.
So new things going on. Well like I said I started my new job at the campus restaurant as a server. It works great with my schedule and the best part is that when I am out of school, on breaks and vacation, the restaurant is closed so I never have to worry about asking for time off during the holidays, spring/ summer break. I not only serve at the restaurant but I also do some catering events too. Its a lot of fun being able to dress all professional and meet a ton of new people but I think I like the serving in the restaurant a little bit more. My co workers are a lot of fun too. There's Daniella, a server, who is spunky and super easy to talk to, her boyfriend JD, a bartender, who is oober cool and totally knows it but in a good way haha. There's Sarah, another server, who is a total badass in her own way and so much fun to work with, Trevin, a busser, who started out on my bad side but has worked his way up to being a pretty cool guy lol. There's Casey, a server, who is the most typical Califonia guy you will ever meet but is a sweetie, and Marina and Evelyn, both caterers, who are a bit on the quite side but once you get through their exterior, they are way cool. Then there's the whole cooking staff, Sam, Bruce, Peter, Chris and all the rest are so much fun and super nice all the time and the managers, Michelle and Martin, who couldn't be mean if they tried; ok maybe if they tried. And not only have I met a few cool co workers but Ive also met this really great guy too. I know its not the most professional thing to get into a relationship with one of your co workers but I couldnt help myself. His name is Michael and he is amazing, both as a server and a guy. He is hilarious and does pretty much every impression that you could think of, and well too. But the weird thing with him is that from the second I met him, when all we did was laugh and joke around, I felt as though I had known him all my life, as though he was one of my best friends. I have never felt like that before with someone, at least not right off the bat. That's how I know that this is different, that's he's special. Nothing serious yet, just kind of dating and having fun together but as soon as it happens I'll let you know!
I've met a few other people outside of work that seem like really good friends. A guy named Jake who works at Peets coffee in the library, and Shelli who is my partner in my micro economics class. Jake is from Covina, CA down in southern cal and is pledging a fraternity at CSUMB. He's a lot of fun anf I was actually kind of nervous to talk to him at first because I thought he was cute but he ended up being a really nice guy and is totally my party hook up from here on out cuz you know how frat boys are lol. Shelli is from Sac and is a really sweet girl. She's pretty funny and is pretty much the only way I stay awake in that class haha.
Other than that life's been good. I'm getting along great nowadays and just trying to get used to this cold weather at the end of summer, Im telling you it's just not normal. Im sure my future is going to be bright and my present is getting better and better everyday ;)

So until tomorrow, or the next day, have fun, love life, and enjoy this present day.

Go Otters!!!

So today I found out that I have been accepted to California State University @ Monterey Bay!! And I have to tell you that it was the most scary, overwhelming, exciting feeling that I have ever had in my life. In just a few seconds my life went into fast forward and all I could think about was how before the concept of attending a university was just a thought in my mind and it all of a sudden had become a reality. I just thought oh my God, I am actually now going to be out of the house and out of my hometown in less than 8 months. That's crazy! So now I have a little bit of weight lifted off my shoulders, having some definite place to go, so I just have to find a way to pay for it all. And that's a whole other stress ball in itself but for now I am just basking in my excitement and accomplishment that I am going to be the first person in my family to go to a university, get a degree and prove to myself that I can make something out of my life. I want to show my little brother that when he wants to go to college he can go wherever he wants and be whoever he wants and I want to show my 2 younger cousins that they don't have to be scared to be on their own and be successful just because they are women. I want to set an example to the three of them and make my parents and my grandparents and the rest of my family proud of what I will become.
Next fall will start a whole new chapter in my life and although I am scared out of my mind and extremely nervous I know that the scariest situations are usually the one that have the greatest impact on your life.
So for now I am going to concentrate on finishing up my AA degree and spending as much time with the ones that I love most before I leave- to grow up. Yes I won't be too far from home and yes I will be home quite often but it won't be the same. I want to make sure that when I do leave that everyone back here at home and other places know that no matter what Lodi will always be my home town and I will never for a moment forget where I came from or who got me to where I am.
WISH ME LUCK!!!

The symbol of an open heart

This symbol has been everywhere for a while now and I have just fallen in love with it.The meaning of this symbol is that if a person's heart is open, love will always find a way in. But sometimes it's a little hard to do that; keep one's heart open I mean.
I think it's hard for some people to keep their hearts open after they've been hurt time and time again. I mean it's like when you're little and your doing things that you're not supposed to and to get you to learn someone adds a punishment to give you in hopes that you come to understand that what you were doing before was wrong & finally get you to stop. Well if someone's heart is always open but love never finds a way in, then they are going to learn that what they are doing is wrong; that an open heart is bad & a broken heart is punishment. And then people just end up closing off their hearts to the world and never letting themselves let anyone in because it hurts too much.
So how does someone keep their heart from closing off love?
Well I know that as a kid, if you're doing something that you really want to do & parents or anyone else tried to stop you, that just made you want to do it even more. The risk you had to take was worth being able to do something that you loved & that in the end would out weigh any punishment that anyone could ever dish out. So even though people may want to close off their hearts & shut out love, they shouldn't. Because the risk that it takes to fall into true meaningful love is worth any amount of tears, heartbreak, or pain that may have come before that moment when you realize that you can't live without that someone standing next to you for the rest of your life.
I know that it's hard to keep going after you've had your heart torn to pieces & I know that there are a lot of times when you just want to give up on love all together, but you can't. Because if you do you will miss out on so many great memories you can share with someone & so many new people you will meet on your way to finding that special one. Because if you do you'll never be able to tell what being in like feels like compared to being in love like you someday will be. And because somewhere out there, in this great big world, there is that one person that God meant for you to be with. They are out there waiting for you to find them & if you close your heart, you're not only taking love out of your own life you but you're taking away the love from the life of someone else. I believe that we are each meant to find someone someday & that can only happen if everyone keeps their hearts open all the time.
This symbol means a lot to me because there have been multiple times in just my short life that I have wanted to give up on love. It just never seemed to turn out right. I wanted to write about this symbol because the concept inspired me and I thought I could maybe give somebody some hope. I want it to always be a reminder for someone that even if they've been rejected, even if they've been let down, after the tears, after the pain & after a broken heart, there is someone better out there waiting for you to find them who will show me what true love really is. And also to remember that keeping their hearts open, even when they might not want to & having the relationships that they did, They'll end up with many great memories, & many great friends.
So until the next day dawns, live your life & love all the way through.

A New Beginning

So this is my blog. Nothing fancy, nothing special, just a place to call my own. A place where I can write what I feel, write what I want and not be afraid of any judgments. A place that lets me escape from reality and get away from it all for a moment in time. It's a blog just for me, to write my thoughts, my dreams, and my everyday tidbits that keep things interesting. I can't promise that something new will be here everyday or even that it will interest anyone, but if there is anyone out there who wants to get away from it all, for whatever reason, for just a little while, I welcome you to read into my own little getaway.